1. Gunge their parent, uncle or teacher but didn't get the chance. *cue aww* 
2. Jump on huge inflatables, chucking food into an adult filled giant baby costume *cue laughter* 
3. And to at least be part of the audience - well now's your chance. *cue screams*. 

This was our lets-go-crazy-and-buy-tickets-for-the-next-leaflet-we-get-oh-look-this-ones-about-some-Korean-dancing-wanna-try-that-why-not-it's-the-fringe moment.

We had no idea what to expect. But the flyer looked colourful and the flyer(er?) was really enthusiastic so we headed on down to George Square. We were not disappointed.

It was a real treat getting to watch a show that was so culturally alien to us - was it accurate to Korean traditions? I haven't the slightest but to an untrained eye it was spot on...  I was mesmerised by the simplicity of the waves of cloth and boat of twine then brought back to reality with the powerful drums.

Now, the drums. The drummers were the highlight. As my partner said, they have 'mad-skills'. He's 26 with the vocabulary of a 14 year old boy but really, I couldn't think of a better word. Please watch out for the woman with the biggest drums who has a solo - she was a star and pulled my focus much of the time.

The singing and dancing swallowed me up into a cocoon of joy. That sentence sounds ridiculous but I really was swept away into this show. The energy. The talent. The costumes. The singing. The dancing. The drumming. The wonder. The beauty. I'm gushing like a 14 year old girl - maybe my partner and I are more a like than I think - but it's hard to find a bad word to say.

I guess 'the paradise' idea was slightly lost on me but still, I would have loved to see this show on a bigger stage, with a bigger production and a bigger budget. I think it'd be a real spectacle. Leodo was the hidden gem in our Edinburgh Fringe crown.

We'd never have chosen the show if that kid with a flyer didn't promote it. Three cheers and a jagerbomb to the unsung heroes of the Fringe. The moral of the story:
Don't be rude to the flyer(ers?), they are people who have feelings too - very 'in your face' feelings but still, they may just pass on a flyer to what becomes your favourite show of the fringe. The end.

5-30 August. Assembly, George Square Studios (venue 17), 14:00
A regular show at the Virgin Media Half Price Hut!

https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/leodo-the-paradise

We quite spontaneously bought tickets for this show about 20 minutes before it started. In no way was the massive queue outside the venue a guiding factor in this decision. We aren't that superficial. Huh. No not us. Noway...

We even kept the mystery alive with no idea of who was performing. And that had nothing to do with us missing the quite obvious line up boards. Oh no, we just wanted the surprise. Yeah, that was it.

Actually, reading the board would have been a huge mistake because I only recognised one name in the set. I would have walked away thinking 'best of the fest my a**' I would have missed out on catching new talent that will be household names some day. I'd have lost the right to say that really obnoxious thing 'I saw them before they were famous'. But aha, our superficial nature didn't fail us.

So, in order of my favourite I'm going to write 6 words on each comedian, not physically on them with like sharpie, but in this blog as to avoid a very long and boring read. Aren't I thoughtful. Or deluded thinking people actually read this.

Iain Stirling: compare, Scottish, poster-boy, likable, silly, hilarious
Rhys Nicholson: ginger, Australian, quick-witted, diva, clever, laugh-out-loud (shush that's one word)
Joel Dommet: camp, posh, recognisable, relatable, friendly, funny
Beardy man: unexpected, mime, comedic, beat-box, skilled, impressive
Ronny Chieng: Asian, matter-of-fact, young, moody, internal, tryer
Luisa Omielan: female, feisty, confident, annoying, half-naked, loud
One guy in audience: American, hammered, stupid, idiot, rude, alone (no surprise)

Go wild and buy a midnight ticket. You might just discover something profound. No that's a lie. You'll just have a reet laugh with what is the best of the fest. And kill six birds with one stone. Not literally unless you have an underlying problem. It just saves trekking to six different venues and spending sixtuplet (?) as much... Damn I should have quit three sentences ago - sorry.

23 & 27-30 August, Assembly Hall (Venue 45), 00:00
Queue at least 45 minutes in advance for the best seats you hardcore fringies. 

https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/best-of-the-fest

The room was understated. The set was minimalist. The crowd apprehensive. Here enters Magiko.

His wide eyes, big hair and towering height bounces into the room with unsuspecting energy. His enthusiasm is immediately present as is the passion that is pouring from his introduction. He's a likable guy. He's got this childish innocence matched with confidence. I felt at ease and ready to enjoy the next hour knowing I'm not wasting it with an amateur. All of this within 3 minutes. I know, I can read people. Fast.

He spoke a lot about chance, luck, fate and everything in between. He appealed to our intellect and made us ask ourselves questions that we have probably never answered. He fed us with a healthy portion of inspiring and intriguing quotes, which would make a great twitter biography. You know, instead of 'YOLO'.

My fella loves figuring out how stuff is done, shame he can't figure out how the washing machine works but he did seem to solve most of the tricks and claims he saw the change of cards in another. However, one trick did completely blow us away. Close up magic at its best. Literally we didn't blink. Or move. We tried so hard to focus. But still the card in his hand changed in front of our eyes. He even did it in slo-mo! Damn.

Siegfried Tieber, his real name which I think is actually much better than the show title, is very compelling, no doubt skilled and completely likable. Don't go expecting Derren Brown or Dynamo and you'll enjoy a very capable close up magician.

9-31 August, Spotlites (Venue 278), 22:40.
You can often find his show on Virgin Media Half Price Hut.

https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/magiko

IMAGE CREDIT http://goo.gl/XU74F6

I'm a fringe virgin. And an Edinburgh one. So this festival was a complete leap into the unknown. I'd not been given a talk off my parents, my friends had never done it and google is like that mate who has apparently done everything. So myself, and the man I love just went for it. It was a bit of a muddle, quite overwhelming and electronic devices played a major part but we came out of the other end, exhausted and aching yes but rather exhilarated.

So, to make your first time and my next time a little easier, I've put together some notes on all aspects of the experience...

Travel 
I hate buses but I have to say in Edinburgh they were extremely regular and ran until 4am. If you're lucky enough to stay central, then everything is within walking distance.

• Single Ticket £1.50 
• Unlimited Day Pass £4
• After 6pm get a day and night ticket for £3.50 - last buses around 3am
• Download the Transport for Edinburgh app and buy your tickets online

Food
It's everywhere, all kinds and all prices.

• Lunch at Noodle'N'Ice on South Bridge was a highlight
• We had posh afternoon tea at The Dome - beautiful and tasty but prepare for the steep bill
• There's tonnes of street vans for a bite whilst changing venues
• Find lots of cheeky discount vouchers on available discount apps

Well, that's everything I can think of. I have finally broken my Fringe virginity after 25 years and can't wait to do it again - next time I might try it with someone new or even involve a few people ;) Either way I'll be better at it next time and will no doubt learn some new tricks.