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Dear Valued Customers,

As you are well aware, Kellerman's Hotel and Resort has a long standing tradition of good old family fun with just a dash of rumba to spice up the trip for our more seasoned visitors. However, after a review of last season our advisory board have come to the conclusion that we need a refreshed vision, look and programme that reflects the changes in times.

We hope to accommodate our regulars with strong programme favourites such as bingo, outdoor dominoes and formal dance evenings but also attract new visitors with exciting additions. These include new dance nights allowing 'loose' and 'informal' choreography and an open door policy to all dress codes. The end of show will also take a new shape by steering away from our talent show format, as Johnny Castle takes on the role of creative director.

We know this transition will be a challenge for staff and visitors alike, but we hope you stay with us as we renew our policies to cater for a wider audience. This is an exciting time for our resort, and we are one of the first to be so bold. For your continued support we'd like to offer you a 20% discount on your next stay and a free dance lesson.

Finally I would like to take this opportunity to announce my early retirement from Kellerman's. I have made many memories and friends over the years, who I hope can support my decision to move onto other endeavours. I wish all employees the best of luck and I will continue to be an advocate for Kellerman's in this time of change.

Join hands and hearts and voices
Voices, hearts and hands
At Kellermans the friendships last long
As the mountains stand

Yours faithfully,
M. Kellerman

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Dirty Dancing the Musical delivered everything you would expect.

Every memorable, and even the not so memorable moments were replicated in the show from dancing on a log, putting baby in a corner to 'I carried a watermelon'. The audience understandably went wild every other minute, partly due to the majority of the crowd being female groups who'd had one too many and partly due to the topless 'Johnny Castle'. Expect this a lot. He was very... buff. *cough*

Kellerman's Resort was captured perfectly in the set and used creatively in the transitions. There isn't much to be said for the acting. It was average but it is really damn hard to come even close to such a classic. Even the best actors in the world would fail against the version of Dirty Dancing in my head.

The soundtrack was a winner, so no complaints there.

Really, this musical is a trip down memory lane, a fun night out and a chance to collectively boogie along to some of the most enjoyable songs of all time. Don't expect a Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey and you'll be fine.

Have the time of your life (sorry) at http://www.dirtydancingontour.com/tickets/tour-tickets/

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I am unsure how to begin this letter. To expose a truth that will affect so many people. So I will begin where it began, the day I met Derren.

He'd been transferred to my class after misbehaving in another. He was confident, mischievous and quickly became known as the trickster. Only small things, you know, like loosening screws on a teachers chair legs or putting super glue on the end of their chalk sticks. It escalated to the point where he could orchestrate a full class to follow his command. No matter how severe the punishment, at least eraser duty seemed extreme back then, the class would follow the plan or at minimum encourage it. I think it was because he was a polite boy with good grades and a large vocabulary. A smooth talker, clever charmer or as you know him powerful performer.

I'd sit quietly in the back and observe the show. Oh he was good, no doubt about that but he wasn't great. I knew he needed me but I had to convince him of that fact.

He swanned into class one day and began devising his next trick. I could see him jotting down notes on a paper. Luckily for him his natural intelligence got him through high school comfortably so his mind could wander without much impact. I knew immediately his plan could be improved, they all could and this was no different. I passed him a note saying 'apples you see but labs the key'. I'm a cryptic person and he's a fast learner. The face that lifted from the note was one I will always remember. His eyes wide and hungry. His smile small and hiding his true excitement.

The teacher ended up in the middle of the sports hall taped to a trampoline in his boxers and tie. He never remembered how he ended up their yet it remained the most memorable event in the schools history. I love irony.

That began our partnership.

'Miracle' is my final tour. It has proven to be the one I reveal the truth. The miracle that I am the mastermind. The Derren you see is a fraud. The Derren you know is a fake. The Derren you love is finished. I can not stand by any longer, or more accurately sit on the sides any longer and let him take the glory. I devised his tricks, trained his mind and honed his skills. I also mixed up the formula that numbs the mind, making it susceptible to almost anything - an unnoticeable scratch on the surface of the skin, a drop in your drink or a injection in your apple and the key to the whole damn act.

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This was a last minute theatre trip that I had the highest expectations of. I've heard only great things about this great man and he was absolutely a great showman. He has flair and exudes this old school charm that is sprinkled with mischievous humour.

The first half was Derren at his best, clearly in his element. Reveling in a series of successful tricks that feed the mind through power of persuasion. However, I did not enjoy the second half in the slightest. He commits to staging a reenactment of some well known 'miracles' to prove a point but it was lost through my irritation and hatred of the point - one that I ironically agree with. I only wish he did more of the first half - that was the stuff that wowed me.

I am not Derren, you are entitled to make up your own mind. Catch the show before it's gone http://derrenbrown.co.uk/on-stage/

*the letter above is obviously a piece of fiction - please read as such.
**the review is very much my opinion - please read as such.

IMAGE CREDIT: http://www.channel4.com/info/press/news/initial-cast-announced-for-the-vote